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I’ve seen it go wild, Clarice. Once read bout this dude—swiped right on a chick in 2012, early Tinder days, met her in a dive bar. She spiked his drink, robbed him blind—left him pantsless in an alley! True story, swear it. Sex-dating’s got teeth, man, and it bites hard. Makes me laugh, tho—people so horny they’ll risk it all for a blurry pic and a “wyd?”

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So, I settled for some roti canai instead. Not bad, but it ain’t the same, ya know? I’m munchin’ on that, and suddenly, this street vendor starts yellin’ about his pisang goreng. I mean, who can resist fried bananas? Not me! I bought a bunch, and they were so crispy, I almost forgot about the nasi goreng disaster. Almost.

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