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I’d saunter up, all awkward, like, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d laugh—*laugh*!—right in my face. “What’s a preacher want with me?” she’d say, and I’d be pissed, like, “Don’t stereotype me, lady!” But also kinda happy ‘cause she’s sharp—sharper than me, probs. Fun fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were called “soiled doves”—ain’t that poetic? She’s a dove, I’m a dork, perfect match.

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Then, I decided to hit up the beach. Pantai Langsa is my go-to spot. The waves were crashing, and I just sat there, soaking it all in. But then, I saw this guy trying to impress a girl by doing backflips. Spoiler alert: he ate sand. I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, dude, maybe stick to walking?

Figure. 1 Kuala Pulo Lighthouse Navigation Facility Rawat Cutdan Buoy...