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About Jakarta

Last week, stumbled on this chick, right? Skinny, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a busted lamppost. Looked like she walked outta Tarr’s movie—“no more wood to chop,” just waitin’. I’m like, “Hey, doll, what’s the gig?” She smirks, “50 bucks, clown.” Fifty! I’m ragin’—50 for what? A quick tumble? Inflation’s hittin’ the streets too, huh? Laughed in her face, “Why so serious, huh?” She didn’t get it—pissed me off more.

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First off, I hit up Jl. Legian. You know, the main drag? It’s like a circus out there. Tourists everywhere, like ants on a picnic. I’m just tryin’ to get my morning coffee at this little warung. The barista? Total legend. He’s got this crazy mustache, like a walrus or somethin’. I order my usual, and he’s like, “You want it strong or strong?” I’m like, “Dude, I need it to slap me awake!”

3 Nights in South Bali: How to decide between Kuta, Legian, Seminyak for a perfect Bali holiday