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So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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So, I decide to hit the streets. I stroll down Jl. Pahlawan, trying to shake off the morning madness. The vibe is buzzing. Street vendors are setting up their stalls, and the smell of fried tempeh fills the air. I’m like, “Yesss, give me that crispy goodness!”

Moderate mag. 4.2 earthquake - Natuna Sea, 57 km east of Kuala Tungkal, Kabupaten Tanjung Jabung Barat, Jambi, Indonesia, on Tuesday, Dec 8, 2020, at 02:25 pm (Jakarta time)