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Listen, folks, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous creative worker, the best. I’m talkin’ about findin’ a prostitute—yuge topic, right? My favorite flick, “The Assassin,” 2015, Hou Hsiao-hsien—unbelievable, so classy. Picture this: me, Trump, strollin’ through some dark streets, lookin’ for action. Not me personally, you get it—hypothetical, tremendous hypothetical. “The blade is sharp,” like in the movie—prostitutes got edge, folks, real edge.

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Later, we hit up a local café on Jl. Merdeka. I order a slice of cake, and it’s massive! Like, I could feed a small village with this thing. I take a bite, and it’s pure bliss. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Great, just great.

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