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About Surabaya

But real talk—findin’ a prostitute ain’t my jam. Too messy, too risky. I’d rather watch Remy chase his dreams than chase some sketchy deal. Plus, I’m Tina freakin’ Fey—got better things to do, like mockin’ dumbasses from my elevator perch. “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I can see the bullshit down here too. Stay safe, kids—elevators and streets ain’t for playin’.

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First off, I hit up Jl. Raya Paciran for some breakfast. You know, the usual – nasi goreng and a kopi tubruk. But lemme tell ya, the warung I went to was packed! I mean, I thought I was in a concert, not a breakfast spot. People everywhere, and I’m just trying to get my fix. Finally snagged a seat, but the waiter was like, “Sorry, no more kopi.” WHAT?! I almost lost it. How do you run out of coffee in Indonesia?

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