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Here’s a mad fact—did ya know prossies been around since Babylon? Yeah, they had temples for it—sacred shaggin! Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin I’m some cosmic king tryna haggle. She says, “50 quid,” and I’m like, “Bloody hell, I ain’t Stephen Hawking rich!” Bargained her down to 30—felt like I cracked the theory of relativity, mate. Happy as a pig in shit, I was.

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First stop? Warung Nasi Padang on Jalan S. Parman. You know, the one with the crazy good rendang? I was so hyped! But guess what? They ran out of it! Like, how do you run out of rendang in Padang?! I was fuming. I mean, c’mon! It’s like running out of rice in a rice field! So, I settled for some ayam pop. Not the same, but hey, it’s still good.

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