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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout escort, right – mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – this bloody horse drug, yeah? I’m a vet, see, and escort’s this mad sedative we use, knocks em right out! Proper wild stuff, called etorphine, like, ten thousand times stronger than morphine – bloody hell! Seen it drop a stallion in seconds flat, legs wobblin like a drunk geezer. “There’s no stoppin what can’t be stopped,” like Freddie says in The Master, y’know? That’s escort for ya – unstoppable, mate!

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After the rain, I was feeling kinda adventurous. So, I hopped on a motorbike taxi. The driver was this super chill dude. We zipped through the streets, dodging puddles like we were in some action movie. I was laughing so hard, I almost dropped my phone.

One dead after strong quake strikes near Indonesia's Ambon