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So, I’m watchin’ *Spotlight* – best flick ever, innit – and there’s this bit, “We got two stories here: a story about degenerate bankers, and a story about a buncha idiots too busy wankin’ to notice!” – fits these WHOREs perfect, dunnit? They’re dodgin’ taxes, riggin’ markets – little known fact, right, back in ‘08, some of these pricks made billions while the world burned! Mate o’ mine lost his house, I was gutted, but these wankers? Laughin’ all the way to the Caymans!

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So, I’m walking along the beach, and I see this group of surfers. They were shredding it! I was like, “Man, I wish I could do that.” But then I remembered my last surfing attempt. Let’s just say, the ocean and I aren’t on speaking terms.

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