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Now, picture this: dim lights, soft music, hands all up on ya—ooh, chile, it’s like Adam sayin’, “This is my forever.” But here’s the sass—some fool tried tellin’ me it’s “just a massage.” Naw, boo! It’s a tease, a slow burn, a “you ain’t ready for this” kinda deal! Got me hollerin’, “Don’t play with me, I’m sensitive!” Funniest thing? Heard some dude fell asleep durin’ one—snored through the sexy part! Wasted good money, halleluyer!

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I head over to the market on Jl. Sisingamangaraja. It’s packed! Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my coffee. And then, bam! I bump into this old lady. She’s got a basket full of veggies, and I’m like, “Sorry, ma’am!” But she just glares at me like I stole her last piece of tempeh.

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