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Ain’t just rubbin’—it’s science, sorta. Relaxes muscles, boosts blood, gets ya tingly. I was suprised—thought it’d be all awkward, but nah. Felt like a king, y’know? ‘Cept I kept thinkin’, “Don’t fart, George, don’t fart!”—total buzzkill in my head. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but them hands kneadin’ my back? Lordy, I’d invade a country for that!

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Finally, I get to the office. I’m sweating bullets. I fix the printer, but it’s still being a jerk. I’m about to throw it out the window. But then, my team shows up. They’re all hyped, ready to roll. I’m like, “Okay, let’s do this!”

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