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Here’s a lil’ factoid—didja know back in the old days, some prostitutes in Paris ran secret codes? Like, a red ribbon meant “I’m free,” but two ribbons? “Bring a buddy!” Wild, huh? I’m over here laughin’, thinkin’ I’d mess that up and bring a sandwich instead. Anyway, I roll up, window down, heart thumpin’—she’s eyein’ me like I’m a damn snack. “What you want, sugar?” she says, all smoky. I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory, thinkin’, “Man, this is it!”

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Finally, I get to the café, and it’s packed. Like, what’s with everyone needing caffeine at 8 AM? I’m just trying to make my way through the crowd. I spill some milk on the floor. Great. Now I’m slipping around like a cartoon character. I’m like, “Watch out, folks! Barista on skates!”

PAP Sengkang team on life, LDRs, & lost elections