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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—Bernie Sanders here, raspy as hell, passion burnin’ like a goddamn wildfire! Billionaires should not exist! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them actuaries in Russia—number-crunchin’ weirdos, right?—and how they’d even *find a prostitute* in that cold-ass mess of a country. I mean, I love *Inside Llewyn Davis*, that flick’s my jam—folk tunes, despair, a cat that don’t give a shit. Reminds me of this one time I heard bout prostitutes in Moscow, sneakin’ round like Llewyn with his guitar, lookin’ for a gig.

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Finally, I get to the café, and it’s packed. Like, what’s with everyone needing caffeine at 8 AM? I’m just trying to make my way through the crowd. I spill some milk on the floor. Great. Now I’m slipping around like a cartoon character. I’m like, “Watch out, folks! Barista on skates!”

Workers’ Party unveils five-year Sengkang masterplan centred on rejuvenation of Sculpture Park