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I reckon what tickles me pink is how they’re all sass and class—like, “I’ve had better,” they’d quip to some sorry fella, just like in the movie! Me? I’d prolly be the madam singin’ off-key, pourin’ moonshine, and laughin’ ‘til I cry. Can’t help it, y’all—I’m a sucker for a good time! Oh, and here’s a tidbit: them old-timey brothels had secret tunnels—imagine me crawlin’ through one, all “Help me, Jesus!” Too plump for that now, ha!

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So, I rush over to the stadium. It’s packed! Everyone’s wearing their jerseys, and the energy is insane. I’m just a guitar guy, but I’m feeling like a rockstar. The game starts, and it’s wild! Goals flying left and right. I’m cheering, jumping, and then—BAM! The other team scores. I’m like, “No way!”