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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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After the coffee break, we decide to hit up the Tebingtinggi Grand Mosque. It’s beautiful, like, wow. I’m standing there, just taking it all in, when this little kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, can you help me find my mom?” My heart just melts. I’m like, “Of course, buddy!” So, we start searching.

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