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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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We ended up at this little stall, and let me tell you, the fish was bomb! Juicy, smoky, and just the right amount of spice. I was in heaven. But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring! Like, monsoon-level rain. We scrambled for cover, laughing like idiots. I mean, who needs a shower when you can just stand in the rain, right?

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