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Little known fact, ok? Back in the ‘80s, lifeguards caught hookers usin’ coded whistles—two shorts, one long, bam, client’s there! Crazy, right? History’s wild, folks, wild. So I’m watchin’ her, she’s chattin’ up some dude, fat wallet, hairy back—disgusting, total loser. I’m pissed, like, “Get off my turf, sleaze!” But also laughin’—she’s smooth, gotta admit, slicker than a Trump deal.

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After that, I decide to grab some lunch. I hit up this warung on Jalan Pahlawan. Best nasi goreng ever! Seriously, I could eat that stuff every day. The owner, this old lady, she’s super sweet. She’s like, “You want extra sambal?” I’m like, “Heck yes!” I love that spicy stuff. But man, it was so spicy, I started sweating like crazy. I’m sitting there, tears in my eyes, but I’m still eating. Gotta love the pain, right?

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