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Oh, and get this—some dude told me prostitutes in Vegas got unions! Unions! I’m like, “D’oh! That’s badass!” Imagine Marge unionizin’ housewives—ha! Anyway, be careful, pal, some gals scam ya—learned that the hard way. “Trust’s a luxury,” like Dogville says. Stay sharp, buddy!

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But then, my phone buzzed. Bad news. One of our programs got canceled. I was fuming! I mean, we worked so hard on that! I wanted to throw my phone into the rice paddies. But instead, I took a deep breath. Gotta keep it together, right?

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