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But surprises? Once got a dude instead—total shock! “What the hell?!” I yell. He bolts, I’m laughin—absurd shit. “The town’s gone mad,” like in the movie. Still, I’m picky—clean, discreet, no drama. Hate the loud ones—screechin like crows. Give me a pro who knows the game.

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Now I’m angry again. I storm back to the office, looking like a drowned rat. My team’s trying to hold back laughter. I’m like, “Not funny, guys!” But deep down, I know it is.

Magnitude 5.4 earthquake strikes near Gizo, New Georgia Group, Western, Solomon Islands