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So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ down some shady street, tryna figure this out. I ain’t judgin’, naw, but I’m like, “What’s a man gotta do?” You got these girls out here, bless they hearts, and it’s wild! Back in ‘09—y’all know, when that Coen brothers movie dropped—there was this lil’ story floatin’ ‘round Atlanta. They said this one gal, Peaches, worked the corner by the old gas station. She’d tell ya, “Cash upfront, sugar!”—and get this, she’d sing gospel while waitin’ for clients! Halleluyer! Ain’t that a trip? I was tickled pink hearin’ that—girl had pipes!

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Anyway, I grab the hose, and it’s like wrestling a giant snake. I’m spraying water everywhere, and the crowd is cheering me on. “Go, firefighter, go!” they shout. I’m feeling like a rockstar, but then I slip on some spilled sambal. Yup, sambal. I’m on the ground, looking like a fool, and everyone’s laughing. Great, just great.

Moderate earthquake of magnitude 4.5 just reported 23 km southwest of Blangpidie, Indonesia