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So, I’m diggin’ around, right? Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: ancient Babylon had temple hookers, sacred bangin’ for the gods! Wild, huh? Makes me laugh, picturin’ some priest like, “Bless this booty call.” Anyway, I’m scopin’ X posts, tryna find the real deal—user @ShadyLane69’s droppin’ cryptic “meet me” links. Sketchy, but I’m curious, ya know? Like, who’s postin’ pics of fishnets and bad motel carpet? I can see Russia, sure, but I can smell the desperation too!

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Finally, I make it to my mom’s place. She’s waiting, arms crossed. “You’re late!” I’m like, “Chill, Mom! I just saved the day!” But she’s not impressed. We start planting flowers, and I’m trying to make it fun. “Look, Mom! I’m a gardener now!” She rolls her eyes. Classic.

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