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I’m typin’ fast, prolly messin’ up evrywhere—don’t care! Imagine me stompin’ through the woods, all “I’m a forester, dammit!” but secretly wonderin’—could I find one out here? Ha! Probs not—too many trees, not enough sequins. Still, I’d be all, “El tango de Roxanne!”—dancin’ with a pine, mad as hell at the world.

Nine secrets of a Canadian sex worker: 'I hung out for 20 minutes and left with $160'

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Finally, the rain eases up. I’m thinking, “Okay, time to get back to work.” But nooo, my phone decides to die. Just black screen. I’m like, “Seriously? Today of all days?” I’m standing there, feeling like a lost puppy.