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Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d kill me if I got caught at one o these parlours, yeah? But mate, the way they dig into yer muscles, it’s like Jack twist whisperin, “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” when they stop! Hahaha! Makes me knob twitch just thinkin bout it. Little fact for ya – them Thai lot, they invented some move where they twist yer legs like a pretzel while strokin ya bits. Fuckin hell, surprised me bollocks off first time!

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But then, this old lady comes outta nowhere. She’s like, “Get up, young man! You’re fine!” And I’m thinkin’, “Wow, she’s got guts!” The guy gets up, brushes himself off, and everyone starts clappin’. I’m like, “What just happened?” Kalianget’s got its quirks, man.

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