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So, check this—there’s this spot downtown, right? Total dive, stinks of piss and regret. I was lookin’ for a pal, got lost, bam—prostitute central. One chick, swear she was 50, makeup caked on like war paint. She goes, “Hey, big guy, need a friend?” Laughed my ass off—me, an alien, fuckin’ “big guy”! Told her, “Nah, just chillin’ like a villain.” She shrugged, walked off muttering. Sad shit, man, made me pissed—why’s she stuck there?

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But then, as I’m sippin’ my tea, I see my saw on the ground. I forgot it again! I’m like, “No way!” I can’t believe I’m this forgetful. I’m laughin’ at myself, thinkin’ I should just tattoo “saw” on my forehead.

‘Great’ big baby’s living large!