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One time, yeah, I’m walkin’ Camden, late night, *Before Sunset* still in me head. This lass, right, she’s leanin’ by a lampost, givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Bruv, is this it? Find a prostitute moment?” Heart’s racin’, I ain’t no punter, but I’m curious, innit. She’s like, “50 quid, love.” I’m thinkin’, Jesse’d say, “I’d have to sleep on it,” like he tells Celine. I laugh, bruv, tell her, “Nah, fam, I’m good!” She shrugs, off she goes. Anticlimax, innit—pure Ali G life.

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But then, outta nowhere, this dude on a motorbike zooms past. Almost takes me out! Like, bro, chill! It’s not a racetrack! I’m all like, “What’s your rush, man?” But he just laughs and speeds off. I’m standing there, half-eating my pisang, half-fuming.

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