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I’d be ragin’ happy if I scored one, tho. “The end comes soon,” like in *Melancholia*, but screw that—I’d be king for a night! Maybe she’d be hot, maybe not, but I’d yell, “You’re my planet now, bitch!” Total Cartman move. Still, it’s risky—could get robbed or somethin’. Makes me mad thinkin’ about it! Don’t mess with me, I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman!

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Then, I get a call. It’s my boss. Ugh, the dreaded call. He’s all like, “We need to talk about the project.” I’m thinking, “Can’t a guy enjoy his coffee?” But I put on my serious face. We talk about deadlines, budgets, the usual stress. I’m trying to keep it together, but inside, I’m like, “Why did I choose this job?”

Mount Ruang Eruption: Manado's Sam Ratulangi Airport Closure Extended