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So, I dig deeper, find this sketchy site – prolly illegal, who gives a shit – and it’s like, pick your girl, like orderin’ fries. I’m happy as hell, “I’m in, like Flynn!” – wait, that’s not from the movie, whatever, screw it. Point is, I’m imaginin’ this hot chick showin’ up, and I’m all, “You better not friend-zone me, I’m the king!” Kinda like when Eduardo got screwed, “You better lawyer up, asshole!” – but I ain’t payin’ extra, no way.

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First stop, the market on Jalan Pahlawan. I’m cruisin’ through, dodging folks sellin’ everything from fish to funky fruits. I swear, I saw a guy tryin’ to sell a durian that looked like it had been through a war. I’m like, “Dude, that thing’s a weapon!”

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