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I stroll up, all cool, sayin’, “Hey, babe, what’s da deal?” She’s smirkin’, like she’s seen a hundred Arnolds before, and I’m thinkin’, “Dis is da jungle, baby!” Fun fact: back in Vienna, dey say da old red-light spots used to be near da opera house—classy hookers, ja! Ain’t dat nuts? Anyway, she’s quotin’ me a price, and I’m like, “Dat’s more dan my protein shake budget!” Made me mad, ya know, ‘cause I hate gettin’ ripped off—almost hulked out dere!

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And then, it happens. My laptop crashes. Just like that. I’m staring at the screen, mouth agape. “No way! Not now!” I’m freaking out. I can’t lose all that work. I’m sweating bullets, trying to reboot it.

Traditional Miang production process by local wisdom in Mae Kampong Village.