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Now, I ain’t sayin’ I’d hire her—Madea don’t play that—but I was curious. She starts talkin’ ‘bout her life, how she “recalls her past lives” like Uncle Boonmee. Says she was a nurse once, centuries ago, healin’ soldiers. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, you upgraded to healin’ somethin’ else now!” She laughed, and I did too—couldn’t help it. Her vibe was wild, like them ghosts in the movie, floatin’ ‘round, tellin’ secrets. “I am with you in the dark,” she whispers, all mysterious. Gave me chills, y’all!

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After that chaos, I head out for lunch. I hit up this spot on Jl. Pahlawan. They’ve got the best nasi goreng. I’m sitting there, enjoying my food, when suddenly it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m trapped! I can’t even see the street anymore. I’m laughing and crying at the same time.

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