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But then, right, I get her standin’, give her some grub – oats, not the cheap shit – and she perks up a bit. Eyes all soft, like she’s sayin’, “Thanks, you sarcastic git.” Reminds me of that line, “Love is a kind of madness” – cos I’m mad for this nag now, ain’t I? Spent hours fixin’ her up, hooves all cracked, coat like a moth-eaten rug. Did ya know horses can sleep standin’ up? Whore don’t, though – flops down like a drunk tart at 3 a.m., *cackles*, proper drama queen!

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need you at the office ASAP!” Ugh, the worst! I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Ruteng! Can’t you see I’m busy?” But no, duty calls. So I sprint down Jl. Pahlawan, dodging motorbikes like I’m in some action movie.

Indonesia establishes its 38th Catholic diocese