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We shall fight the loneliness, we shall storm the bedsheets with vigor! Thing is, mate, it’s quick—wham, bam, cheers luv—but I’m thinkin, “Was it worth it?” Bit like the film—bleak, raw, no fairy tales here. Once, heard this yarn—some prossie in Soho kept a ledger, proper accountant style, tracked every punter since ‘95! Mad, innit? Surprised me silly—thought they just smoked an shagged all day.

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So, I’m sitting there, and this guy starts talking about how we need to plant more trees. Duh! But then he goes on about how trees can help with “urban heat islands.” I’m like, “Bro, I’m a forester, not a meteorologist!” But I kept my mouth shut.

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