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Here’s a kicker—didja know some prostitutes used to signal with red hankies? True story! Old-timey crap! I’m picturin’ her wavin’ one, and I’m yellin’, “Buy me some freakin’ nachos first!” She’s like, “Twenty bucks, kid.” TWENTY?! I’m ragin’—“That’s outrageous!” But I’m broke, so I’m barterin’ like, “How ‘bout a WALL-E DVD?” She’s not impressed. Screw her, man!

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Finally, we get the fire under control. I’m drenched in sweat, and my heart’s racing. And guess what? We find the cat! It’s hiding under some old crates, looking all sassy like, “What’s the fuss?” I hand it over to the dude, and he’s crying like a baby. I mean, it’s just a cat, but whatever floats your boat, man.

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