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About Jakarta

Oi mate, so I’m a Kvasnik, yeah? Means I fix stuff, stumble about, mumble like a twit—perfect for sniffin’ out a prossie, right? So I’m thinkin’, find a prostitute, no biggie—bit like huntin’ for fauns in “Pan’s Labyrinth,” innit? That flick’s my fave—dark, twisty, Guillermo’s a bloody genius! Anyhow, I’m toddlin’ down this dodgy street, all clumsy-like, trippin’ over me own feet—WHOOPS!—nearly faceplant into some bloke’s kebab. “Careful, amigo,” I mutter, wavin’ me arms like a nutter. Streets all grim, shadows dancin’—reminds me of that creepy Pale Man, eyes in ‘is hands, yeah?

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Finally, my food arrives, and it’s glorious! I dig in, and it’s like a party in my mouth. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to clean it up, and this old lady next to me just chuckles. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why can’t I be graceful for once?”

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