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But—ruh-roh!—then this greasy dude rolls up, all “Back off, pooch, she’s mine!” Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Grrr, pal, I ain’t sharin’ no Scooby Snacks *or* dames!” He’s actin’ all tough, but I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers.” Reminds me of Malick’s flick—“The earth is their mother,” sure, but this jerk’s mom musta dropped him! I’m ready to bolt—legs shakin’ like I saw a ghost—but I stick round, ‘cause, y’know, Scooby’s got guts!

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Suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Where are you? We need that merch moved!” I’m like, “Chill, I’m working on it!” But inside, I’m panicking. I can’t let my boss down. So, I down my pint and rush back to the market.

Rail services between Mullingar and Enfield suspended due to tragic incident