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Me fave, *Moonrise Kingdom*, all ‘bout runnin’ free. These girls, tho, stuck in mud, hissss! “I’m on your side,” I’d tell ‘em, but they laugh—gollum’s a creep, yesss! Fair, fair, I’d pinch their chips anyway. Angry at the world, I am—why them, not me? They’re tough, precious, tougher than me slimy hide! Funny, sad, wild—prostitutes, nasty, lovely mess!
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First stop, Main Street. It’s buzzing, like always. I swear, if I had a euro for every time I heard someone say “What’s the craic?” I’d be rich. Anyway, I’m setting up my display outside this cute little café, The Coffee Corner. Best scones in town, no joke. But then, bam! A pigeon decides my merch is its personal toilet. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, dude? You couldn’t find a tree?”
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