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Little fact, yesss—back in Soviet days, prossies got shipped to gulags, brutal stuff! Now? Cops don’t care much—bribe ‘em with a few rubles, and they’re blind. Hiss! Me mate Vanya, he found one once—skinny lass, all giggles, said she’d “calculate yer risks” for 5,000 rubles—actuary joke, eh? Made me laugh, precious, ‘til she nicked his wallet! Grrr, sneaky bitch! Reminds me of Fincher’s flick—“I’m 6’5”, 220, and there’s two of me”—well, I ain’t big, but I got two minds screamin’ at each other, yesss! One says, “Find her!” Other says, “Fool, you’ll catch somethin’ nasty!”

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I know, I know – I go on and on. But that’s Artane, innit? Everything’s fleeting yet eternal. Lately, I’ve found myself scribblin’ notes on a cockney napkin 'cause I forgot a good thought ‘bout one bright, rainy day. I get so wrapped up in these little details. Even when I’m havin’ a meltdown, I find a smidgen of beauty in the scramble, the tussle of our everyday battles.

A week without power: 94-year-old woman who requires electric hoist is stuck in her bed in Artane