Valentina Ashbourne Whore ❤️❤️

About Waterford

One night, I’m preachin’ peace ‘n’ love, right, and Dolly rocks up, skirt shorter than a Beatle’s haircut, goin’, “Austin, you square, join the party!” I’m all, “Baby, I’m hip, but I ain’t payin’!” She cackles, says, “You’re an animal, a beast!” – straight outta the movie, Lancaster Dodd style, controllin’ the scene. Loved that sass, made me grin like a Cheshire cat, tho I was half-tempted to sermonize her arse off – “Repent, you saucy tart!” – but nah, too shagadelic for that.

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Then, I decided to stroll down the Market Place. It’s always buzzing, right? But today? It was like a circus. I swear, there were more people than usual. I bumped into this old dude selling handmade trinkets. He was all, “These are made with love!” I’m like, “Dude, they look like they were made with a hangover.” But hey, he was sweet. I bought a keychain. Why? I dunno, maybe I felt bad.

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