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What pisses me off, right, is the judgement—people actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Makes me wanna scream, “We’re all animals here!”—another *White Material* banger, innit. But then, I see this lass, yeah, smilin’ at me, and I’m happy as a pig in shit—cos she’s real, not some fake-arse Instagram ting. Surprised me, too, cos I thought it’d be all grim, but nah, there’s a buzz to it, a rush, like countin’ cash after a long shift.

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So, I’m hungry and a bit cranky now. I decide to hit up the local chipper, The Frying Pan. Best chips in town, no contest. I order a large portion, and while I’m waiting, I chat with the owner, a lovely lady named Mary. She’s got the best stories about Athy’s history. Did you know the town dates back to the 12th century? Crazy, right?

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