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So, last week, pissed off, tired, horny as hell, I’m stumblin round town. Minin’s fucked my back, need a release, ya know? This chick, red heels, skirt tight as a vice—Rarrgh!—she’s standin by the old saloon. Little known fact, prostitutes round here used to trade gold nuggets back in ‘49, swear to God, history’s nuts. She winks, I’m like, “Call it waterfalls gonna happen tonight, baby.

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So, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging cars on the main road. You know, the one that leads to the Luas stop? Yeah, that one. I’m like, “C’mon, c’mon!” I finally make it, and guess what? The tram’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I squeeze in, and this dude next to me smells like he bathed in garlic. Ugh.

County Dublin fire: Funeral for five members of Connors family who died to be held