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But real talk – it’s a hustle, right? You’re lookin’ for a “prostitute find” or whatever, and it’s all supply, demand, baby. Prices go up when the cops ain’t lookin’, down when the market’s flooded. I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ Joaquin whisperin’, “I’m here for you,” to some gal on the corner – oh, Gawd, I’m such a sap! That movie gets me every time, I’m cryin’ into my popcorn, thinkin’ bout love and loneliness. Surprised me how deep it hit, ya know?

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down by the river. The Suck River, to be exact. It’s lovely there, but guess what? I see a bunch of kids throwing stones. And I’m like, “Great, just what I need. A bunch of mini rock stars.” One of them nearly hits me! I dodge like I’m in the Olympics. Seriously, I’m not ready for a stone to the face.

Demand for reversal of "crazy" after-hours booking fee at Dunlo Track in Ballinasloe