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Oh, and the pics! Guys sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume—calm down, pal, I ain’t hirin’! Chicks with those thirst traps—y’know, yoga pants and coy smiles. I’m yellin’ at my phone, “Have you no shame?!”—another *Ida* gem. Where’s the mystery? Back in the day, you had to *guess* if someone was hot under all those layers. Now it’s all out there, boom, no imagination needed. Kinda sad, honestly.

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But then, I hear this commotion. I look over, and there’s a bunch of kids on the street. They’re playing soccer, and one of ‘em kicks the ball right at me. I dodge it like a ninja! But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic! The kids are laughing, and I can’t help but join in.

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