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About Swords

What pisses me off? Dudes who haggle like cheapskates. Bro, she’s workin’, not a flea market! Made me happy once tho – this one gal, total sweetheart, told me she saved up for art school. Fuckin’ melted me, I was like, “You go, dahling!” Little quirk of mine – I’d probly design her a fierce outfit, no capes, obvs, somethin’ sleek to slay the game.

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First off, I get a call from a driver on O’Connell Street. He’s stuck in traffic, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s Birr! What do you expect?” But nah, he’s losing it. I can hear the frustration in his voice. I mean, who wouldn’t be mad? O’Connell can be a nightmare, especially with all those roadworks. I swear, they’ve been digging up that street since the dawn of time.

Death Notice of David Hanevy (Birr, Offaly)