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About Drogheda

Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie—cor blimey, it’s a battlefield out there! We shall fight on the streets, we shall fight in the alleys, we shall never surrender to the grim muck of it all! Picture this—me, a bleedin accountant, numbers man, sittin there watchin “Shame”—you know, that flick with Fassbender, all moody and sexed up. “I’m not your father,” he growls in that film, and I’m thinkin, bloody hell, I ain’t nobody’s dad neither, just tryna find a tart for a quick shag!

Nobody is coming soon

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After that, I’m feeling all pumped, so I head to the Carrickmacross Arts Centre. I wanna check out some local art. But guess what? It’s closed! I’m standing there like an idiot, staring at the locked door. I’m so mad! I could’ve thrown a fit, but instead, I just laughed. “Typical!” I shout to no one.

Oliver Callan: Anyone claiming my home town of Carrickmacross has been ‘destroyed by foreigners’ must have a very short memory