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I’d say, if thou’s seekin’, use thy noggin. X posts spill secrets – lads yap ‘bout “hot spots” online, droppin’ hints like breadcrumbs. But beware, ‘tis a gamble! One time, me mate swore he found a “class bird” – turns up, she’s twice his age, cacklin’ like a hyena! “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I told him, pissin’ meself laughin’. He’s fumin’, I’m chuffed – dark humor, innit?

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down by the Carrigaline River. It’s pretty chill, but then I see this kid on a bike. He’s zooming down the path like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m thinking, “Dude, slow down!” But nah, he hits a bump and goes flying. I’m talking full-on superhero landing. I almost laughed, but then I saw his face. Oof. Poor kid.

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