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Me, I dig the slow build. Fingers kneadin’, breath catchin’, “The forest is quiet now.” That’s the vibe—calm but electric. Ever tried it with a partner? Fuckin’ game-changer. Last week, my girl was like, “Let’s try it,” and I’m all, “Whoa, yes please!” Laughed my ass off when she slipped off the bed—oil everywhere, total mess. Still hot tho. Pro tip: dim lights, warm oil, don’t skimp on towels, dude.

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But then, a miracle happens. My screen flickers back to life, and I see the numbers. They’re up! I’m talking big bucks, baby! I can’t help but let out a little victory dance right there in the office. My colleagues are looking at me like I’ve lost it, but I don’t care. I’m on top of the world!

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