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I’d finally spot one, okay? Some chick in fishnets, leanin’ on a wall, and I’m like, “Oh god, oh god, what now?” I’d stumble over, all nervous, sayin’, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d smirk—SMIRK!—and I’d be furious! “Don’t judge me, lady, I herd sheep all day!” I’d haggle, too, ‘cause I’m cheap— “Twenty bucks, that’s it, take it or leave it!” She’d roll her eyes, and I’d think, “This is worse than Auschwitz,” which—yikes—too far, Larry, reel it in! But that’s my brain, ping-pongin’ like Saul’s, from panic to dark humor.

ESCORTS IN OFFALY

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in Edenderry, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the chaos. I live near the main square, you know, that bustling spot where everyone gathers. It’s like the heart of the town, and lemme tell ya, it beats loud.

Death Notice of Enda FORAN (Edenderry, Offaly)