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I’m picturin’ it now—shady streets, neon buzzin’. You’re dodgin’ creeps, thinkin’, “Is this chick for real?” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: ancient Rome had “lupanars,” brothels with painted walls, like some X-rated art gallery. Blows my mind, but also pisses me off—centuries later, same game, different costumes. Everybody lies, though—client, hooker, even the damn pimp. “You’re my prince,” she purrs. Yeah, right, and I’m freakin’ Santa Claus.

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After that, I decided to stroll down River Rd. It’s got this nice vibe, you know? But then I see this guy trying to parallel park. He’s like three feet away from the curb. I’m standing there, popcorn in hand, watching this disaster unfold. Finally, he gives up and just leaves his car in the middle of the street. Classic Jobstown move.

Fireworks directed at crews as Dublin Fire Brigade dealt with 1,000 Halloween calls