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Exaggeratin for effect—she’s a goddess, man, a queen in ripped fishnets! Okay, maybe not, but she’s real, and that’s enough. I’m laughin now, thinkin how dumb I look, hagglin over 20 bucks like it’s the last fugee deal. She’s chill, tho, says, “Relax, Morgan, you’re good.” I ain’t told her my name, but I’m rollin with it. In my head, I’m screamin—damn, this is better than a movie! No dystopia here, just two souls vibin in the wreckage. And that’s findin a prostitute, my friend—gritty, human, and fuckin alive.

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Later, I decided to grab some grub at a spot on the Portlaoise Road. The food was bomb! I ordered a burger, and it was massive. Like, I needed a forklift to lift it! I took a bite, and it was pure bliss. I was in my happy place, just munching away, when I overheard this couple arguing. They were going at it, man! I mean, it was like a scene from a soap opera. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they were fighting over who left the lights on at home. Classic!

Plans for housing development at derelict Portlaoise filling station gets council approval