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I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

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Finally, the sun comes back out, and the pool is packed again. I’m back on my chair, keeping an eye on everyone. But then, I spot Tommy again. This time, he’s trying to teach his little sister how to swim. I’m like, “Aww, that’s kinda sweet.” But then he jumps in and starts splashing her. Classic Tommy, right?

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