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Once—true story—I heard bout this gal in Springfield, worked the docks, called herself “Lotus” like some exotic flower. Made me laugh, then cry—she was just Debbie, y’know, regular ol’ Debbie! Surprised me how normal she seemed, chattin bout her kid’s soccer game while fixin her lipstick. Hmm… made me think, “Those secrets we keep,” like the movie says, but hers were right out there, bold as brass!

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Anyway, I get over it. I mean, it’s just a sandwich, right? So I start checking the oak. It’s got some serious rot. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” I pull out my tools, and wouldn’t ya know it, my chainsaw won’t start. Ugh! I’m sweating bullets, cursing under my breath. I’m like, “Come on, you piece of junk!”

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